


Crave

by SilverF0x



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Headcanon, Light Angst, MC is the MC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 22:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverF0x/pseuds/SilverF0x
Summary: Harper went on Love Island to find her soulmate, but he was the one thing she couldn't take with her from the Villa. Over a year later, it's time to try a sweeping him off his feet, grand, romantic gesture.





	Crave

**Author's Note:**

> "Crave" by Ruth B is the inspiration for the title, the story, and is the song written by my MC Harper after her experience in the Villa. Some lyrics revised by me to make it fit my story :) All lyrics are the property of the songwriters. I just borrowed them because I'm not that creative, I'm a singer, not a songwriter.

Our love grew in the quiet moments we spent together on the Island. It grew quickly, quietly, and unnoticed by anyone- ourselves, our partners, our friends, the producers, even the cameras and microphones that were everywhere. He of course fancied Hope, but her all-out nature was sometimes overwhelming for him. I consistently coupled with Bobby, even though we mutually friend-zoned ourselves. I loved his friendship and happy, comedic nature, but sometimes I needed a break too. Noah listened to me play in the mostly unused living area- I had been lucky, and allowed to bring a keyboard with me. I'm sure the producers saw potential for a Love Island Soundtrack or something. It didn't matter to me, at least my creative outlet was there and I could pour my emotions into something. We became best friends. Until the night it ended.

The terrace had been a common place for us to find quiet together, either in silence, or in wonderful chats about any and everything under the sun. The stars. Music. Our favorite books. Our families. Sometimes I composed music and wrote lyrics while he read, both happy for the quiet company that was a stark contrast to the other Islanders. He'd braid my hair when I complained about it's riotous nature and threatened to cut it off. Those last days though, the chats had become flirty at times. Something that had never happened before, but looking back, I couldn't deny the tension had been building during the weeks we spent at the Villa. The worst offender of these chats was when he was talking about sleeping alone again, and if I was excited to have my own bed and bedroom again and him wondering what it looked like. The alcohol had of course been abundant in the Villa, and bolstered by the products of Lottie's expert bartending I asked him if he was looking for an invitation to my bed because he seemed super into my bed. We both blushed and moved on, to a weird conversation about furniture and lizards before we quickly made our way to our respective beds. Thank God that never made it into the show.

“Help me Harper, I don't know what to do with these feelings. I'm in love with you”

In that moment I followed my instincts and just kissed him. All the pent up emotions unleashed between us. There were fireworks. In Bobby's language it was flames emoji, flames emoji, one-hundred emoji. We had found the missing parts of ourselves in that kiss and the line had been crossed. We couldn't go back. I was desperate to taste every part of him, and he was desperate for me too. He made a move to unzip my dress before I finally came to my senses. I told him it was too late for this. He was with Hope. He had been with Hope this whole time. He could have chosen me but never had. This couldn't happen. I owed it to Bobby even if we weren't in a romantic couple. He needed to go downstairs and be with Hope. I held the tears at bay while he looked into my eyes, searching for something I'm not sure of. It was almost like he couldn't believe what had happened and what was now happening and he was lost in his own sea of emotions. He left me without a word on the terrace that night. When I was sure I was alone I sobbed my heart out and cursed everything about the Villa.

I went downstairs to grab my notebook and a pen. I had to put these words down even if they were never seen by anyone else and never had notes to go with them. 

\---------------------------------------  
I don't wanna say it out loud  
But all I really want is you right now.  
Miss the way you play with my hair.  
Guess I'm just scared that you don't care.  
Never thought I'd find myself here.  
But if I'm keeping it true. Baby I crave you.  
\----------------------------------------

I caught him alone on the terrace the next morning. It was our last day in the Villa. We'd find out who won that night. We'd go home tomorrow. We talked about the night before. The kiss. How we both wanted this, more than anything, but he didn't want to upset Hope this close to the end of the show. Looking back I guess his approach made sense, but in the moment it angered me. Honesty was of the upmost importance to me, and I didn't like feeling like I was sneaking around. In my opinion there was nothing to be ashamed of in finding each other and falling in love even though we were on a dating game show and partnered with other people. We hadn't actually acted on it past a kiss. He was always the one to self-sacrifice instead of rocking the boat, and I guess it was selfish of me to expect any different behavior from him. I told him I couldn't do this, that I wanted him to leave me alone, and I left him there staring after me. I added to what I had wrote down last night:

\----------------------------------------------------  
Remember when you told me that you wanted me for life.  
I try to forget cause that was my favorite night.  
I'll be lying to say I don't miss you  
But you know i got some damn pride issues.  
\-----------------------------------------------------

We didn't speak again before we left the Villa.

It had been over a year since the show ended, and months after the reunion special. Lottie and Gary had won Love Island, and were still going strong, beating the odds together. I adored my 'personal psychic' and I was so happy she had found what she was looking for. I saw them both often as Lottie and I decided to live in the same apartment building in London. We chose London so I could focus on my music, and there were ample opportunities for her makeup artistry too. Gary moved in with Lottie eventually- it was difficult for him to be so far way from his Nan, but he was unable to stay away from his Tee-Tee. They were so opposite, yet so good together, each one balancing some other aspect of the other's personality. 

Chelsea and Lucas ended up as friends just like the viewers predicted in 'couple-trouble.' Chelsea and I had a weekly 'gin o'clock' date on Tuesday evenings- we both agreed Tuesday was the day that most needed a 'gin o'clock' appointment as Tuesday is Monday's evil twin after all. She also relocated to London as she had been offered a gig hosting a design challenge show- the public adored her bubbly persona, and I couldn't be happier for my friend. She had just launched a line of inspirational embroidered cushions.

Priya was killing it in the modeling world she had previously dabbled in. While she didn't find love in the Villa she did find her confidence and she. was. fierce. She was based in London too, but often traveling for photoshoots, fashion shows, and other fashion based collaborations. 

Our 'girl squad' quartet made time for brunches at least monthly, no matter how busy we found ourselves. We were close, and we were happy. Life was good.

My music career was starting to take off. The events of the Villa gave me lots of inspiration, and the opportunity to collaborate often with Kassam, who I became good friends with during my otherwise miserable time in Casa Amor. We tried seeing if we had sparks while we were in Casa, but we weren't exactly each other's type on paper, even though his crooked grin and tattooed arms still make me swoon when I see him. I think he knew my heart belonged to someone else, even though I didn't know it at the time. He's always been perceptive like that. We hung out whenever one of us was close by for a gig- just enjoying creating music together. I loved the techno edge he could add to my otherwise mostly acoustic sound- it made for something I felt was truly unique, and kept me from being just another 'pop star.'

Everyone else had sort of drifted apart. We never did have that Summer Beach Rave Reunion, or Weekly Love Island Finalists Brunches group chat. What we knew of everyone else came from bits of information passed from one person to the next, or noticed on social media or gossip mags. Shannon was still an ace poker player, regularly beating those unfortunate enough to be seated at her table. Rahim was becoming the Tiger Woods of the UK, and he and Jo were still going strong. Jo was taking the BMX world by storm. Lucas was off doing good deeds in some remote corner of the globe with MSF. Hope was still climbing the ranks of the corporate toy world, and recently seen dating some important somebody. Marisol was almost finished with law school. Bobby had been catapulted to fame as the fan favorite in the Villa and had started what was now a wildly popular bakery chain. He was based in Glasgow still, and incredibly busy, though he made time to see us whenever he was in London. 

Noah had gone pretty much quiet- the only one who hadn't taken advantage of the new-found fame to advance himself. I tried to keep tabs on him a little bit, but he wasn't exactly active on social media and I felt awkward, like I was internet-stalking him. The gossip mags had nothing to report. By all accounts (and the library web page) he was content in Romford at the library. I will never forget how my heart melted when he told me about his children's book club. That was probably the moment I was 'done for' as they say. 

At the reunion, we didn't really speak past pleasantries and what interactions were more or less forced by the host and audience. I guess he was respecting my wishes that he leave me alone, and I was too afraid to put myself out there, and too stubborn to apologize. During the taping, I learned that he and Hope broke up shortly after the finale- turns out being a 'day one couple' doesn't matter outside the Villa, especially if you don't win, and they were at an impasse regarding their future- he wanted marriage and children. She didn't. He wasn't interested in the fleeting fame or living in the big city or the parties. He wanted to go back to his library, his children he read to, and to his family. She didn't want to slow down that way. They amicably ended things and went their separate ways.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of him daily. Think of what could have been. Think myself foolish for being so hot-headed. Hate myself for pushing him away. Hate him for never taking a chance on us sooner. Love him because I still did. I felt like an idiot for still being hung up on Noah all this time later. I dreamed of that night on the terrace often, far more often that I cared to admit. Maybe Marisol was on to something when she was ranting about sleepwalking into stationary cupboards. I had gone to Love Island to find love, to find my soulmate. I had found him, but the timing was not right, and in my cloud of emotions I threw away any chance of letting a relationship happen on the other side of the Villa walls.

I had a show coming up- my biggest to date. It wasn't big, but it was big for me. It was bigger than a bar, smaller than stadium. The outdoor amphitheater was beautiful- there was a proper stage, and the ability to have a 'backstage pass' type of experience. I had this brilliant idea in a dream for this grand romantic gesture. Emboldened by Lottie's most recent reading of my leaves- an anchor, the “leaves never lie, you know,” I found myself on a plane to Berlin.

I needed help. I needed to get out of my own head as I had hit a block. I had come across those words I wrote down all that time ago, tweaked things, added things, hammered out the basic melody and pattern, but I needed something more. I needed Kassam's input. We met at a quiet coffee shop and I told him my plan. He was thrilled to help- we loved collaborating together- and he soon laid down a sick beat to go with my piano tune. We also added a bridge and another verse.

\-------------------------------------------------  
This is hard to say  
Maybe I made a mistake.  
When i let you go.  
Didn't know I'd feel so low  
Now i miss your touch  
So much

I put on a front make it look like I don't care.  
In reality I feel you, see you everywhere.  
Wonder if you ever sit and wonder about me.  
Tell me does it kill you everything that we could be  
\--------------------------------------------------

Kassam helped me flesh out the piano a bit more for that 'emotional impact' he's so good at. We spent the next couple days with me practicing, him recording that beat we added for me to use and we promised to actually record this song if it things went to plan. He sent me back to London with a hug and warm fuzzy thoughts of knowing it would work, and added “He's an idiot if he hasn't gathered you in his arms the moment you're off the stage, if not before. If he doesn't show up he isn't even worth your time, Princess.”

As the days ticked down to the big night I was a bundle of nerves. I went way overboard at Gin O'Clock Tuesday that week with Chelsea. I was miserably hungover the next day when I got confirmation that Noah had received the package with a note and the only backstage pass for this performance. 

Noah-  
I know you probably didn't expect, or maybe even want to hear from me. We need to talk. I miss my best friend. I hope I see you Saturday night  
Harper

The rest of the week passed in a blur. Priya sent me an amazing dress to wear the night of my concert- she was absolutely gobsmacked that I had no clue what to wear so she took it into her own hands. It was gorgeous- sultry yet classy, in my favorite shade of peacock teal that set off my blue eyes against my tanned skin and showed off my curves, yet allowed me to move and perform without the threat of wardrobe malfunctions. Lottie did an invocation to Venus on my behalf Friday night. Kassam texted me to tell me he would be sending happy thoughts my way and looking for Priya's livestream- he hated he couldn't be there in person. Chelsea was ready with the gin and limes anytime I needed it, though I opted for water because my nerves were already a mess and I also needed to stay hydrated and not jeopardize my voice.

Saturday Lottie cleared her schedule to be on hand as my makeup artist, She'd be backstage if I needed her. Chelsea, Priya, Gary and Bobby would be in the front row to cheer me on and to support me from there. It was supposed to be a packed house- I guess that's what Love Island does for you. The stage was set, and my band was there. “Crave” had never been heard by anyone but me and Kassam, and whoever was unfortunate to live in the surrounding apartments if my soundproofing wasn't good enough, though I hadn't heard any complaints. I was only playing “Crave” if he showed up. My piano was center stage, facing stage left. I was so excited to be playing on a grand piano- my special request for today. 

My handlers and crew, as well as the venue staff had specific instructions that Noah was to be backstage, stage left if he showed up. I wanted to be able to see him while I sang the song I wrote for and about him. I spent the afternoon warming up and going through the set list with the band, going over specific instructions with the sound booth what was to happen if I made a small speech about a new song at some point during the show and worked the word 'ding' into it. I left a copy of Kassam's beat track with them. 

The hours couldn't have dragged by more slowly. I was dying inside. I wanted to hide, I wanted to run, I wanted gin, anything. I had confirmation from the post that Noah received my package Tuesday, but I had received no word from him at all this week. Not even a like on an Instagram post. I knew he followed me- I'm ashamed to admit I checked every so often. Maybe he wasn't coming. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he was already busy. Maybe he had moved on. My hands were shaking. I'd been performing for years now, but I'd never once been nervous like this. I had no opening act today, nothing that I could stall if I was nervous. 

Nerves aside, I couldn't have hoped for a more beautiful day to be performing in an outdoor amphitheater. Fall was in the air- and that was in my favor. It's so hot under the spotlights, and I'm not the type of performer who just stands there- I like to be energetic and entertaining. A little cool air would help me not totally melt- not that I would with Lottie's resources and expertise. It was cool but not cold. Sunny during the day. A nice fall breeze. Tonight would be clear and I'd be singing under a sky full of stars tonight. The thought brought me back to the night Noah and I had discussed how growing up we thought we became stars when we died, and how really we were all stars anyway because we came from the same matter. The memory made me smile, but wasn't enough to quell my nerves or slow my hammering heart.

As Lottie did some last minute touch-ups of my makeup she led me through some breathing exercises, just like she had Chelsea all those months before when we had to make our declarations of love on the show. I had a moment with my friends, did a few vocal runs to warm up, took a moment with the band, then it was time. I had avoided looking at or being near stage left like the plague all day today. I couldn't even look as I strode out to take my place at the mic, not that it mattered with the lights down. I wouldn't have seen much anyway. No one from my team had told me anything yet. Maybe they knew better than to say anything either way thinking it would put me further on edge than I already was or needed to be. They also just knew bare minimum information- if a tall, dark handsome man named Noah showed up with a backstage ticket he was to be escorted to stage left- where he'd have a great view and I could see him from the piano.

The opening notes started and all my fears faded as I started to sing and play through the lineup I had worried over so many times. I wasn't brave enough to look stage left yet, but when I went to the piano in a moment I wouldn't have a choice. As we entered the second song, I knew my time beating around the bush was up. I half ran, half walked to the piano in my typical fashion, keeping my eyes forward and low just to have a few more seconds before the moment of truth. I adjusted the piano mic before I started to play, throwing my body into every movement and note like I always did. My long hair- I didn't have the will to ever cut it off post-Villa flew around my face and shoulders as I played. When I entered into a bridge for just the piano, it was time to chance a look. I could play through anything. I was on a collision course with elation or disappointment, and I wasn't sure my voice could sing through either.

My heart almost stopped. God he was still devastatingly handsome, smoldering without trying. His eyes fixed on mine and a smile broke across his face, before he raised eyebrows and mouthed a 'hi,' definitely a throwback to the first time we met. The warmth that spread through me was immediate and almost overwhelming. The peace I felt just seeing him there I couldn't describe if I tried. As the song ended and went into the next I kept throwing glances both at the audience and at Noah. I spotted Lottie behind him throwing her thumbs up, and doing a little happy dance for me before she faded out of my sight again. 

We were nearing the end of the set, and I was running out of time. He was here, and he looked happy to see me. He always said he wanted to see me in a proper concert while I was just playing and practicing in the Villa. It was now, or never. As the song finished, I took myself back to the piano and pscyhed myself and the crowd up with a small speech “Thank you London! Who here wants to be the first to hear a totally ding new song?” Cheers, and laughter erupted. As the beat started I locked eyes with Noah across the stage and he mouthed 'Wow.' I gave him a cheeky wink before I started to sing.

\-------------------------------------------------  
Been a couple months since I told you hit the road.  
You're a stranger now but that's how it always goes.  
Remember when you told me that you wanted me for life.  
I try to forget cause that was my favorite night.  
I'd be lying to say I don't miss you.  
But you know I've got some damn pride issues.  
\--------------------------------------------------

As we built to the chorus I kept my gaze locked on his as I threw myself into the keys, hoping I didn't look a right fool, but unable to be anything but myself.

\-----------------------------------------  
I don't wanna say it out loud  
But all I really want is you right now.  
Miss the way you play with my hair.  
Guess that I'm just scared that you don't care.  
Never thought I'd find myself here.  
But if I'm keeping it true. Baby I crave you.  
\-----------------------------------------

I made sure to keep my eyes on his while I sang the last line, searching their depths to see if I could tell he felt the same still. To see if there was any prayer of a chance for us. His smolder and his grin told me everything I needed to know.

As the lights came down I ran stage left and launched myself into his arms. He caught me with ease, returning my hug, mouth near my ear and said “Harper, I missed you. I could never just not care.” 

As tears threatened to spill, I kissed his cheek and whispered “Noah, I love you.”

He breathed into my hair “I love you too. I never stopped.” 

I could hear “Encore! Encore! Encore!” even though my world was focused on this wonderful man standing in front of me. 

“Promise me you won't leave,” I pleaded, searching his eyes for confirmation.

“I swear it on the valor of Violet Man” he said in mock seriousness, but the look in his eyes was all I needed to know he wasn't going anywhere.

I couldn't surpress my giggle. “God I missed you Noah. Be right back.” before I ran back on stage I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

Before I could dash back on stage his large hand caught mine and pulled me back to him. God our bodies fit so well together. He tangled his fingers in my hair, drawing me to him, and kissing me fully. Flames emoji, flames emoji, one hundred emoji, fireworks. It was everything. “Promise me you won't tell me to ever leave you alone again” he murmured as he broke the kiss, searching my eyes for confirmation this was actually real.

“Never again.”

**Author's Note:**

> More props where they are due: inspiration for this totally came from throughthejunobush- if you haven't read 'Don't Disappoint Me' go do it now. It's AMAZING. In all the ways. Thanks for turning me on to a new artist to add to my Spotify list.
> 
> The Noah chase and ending are SO unsatisfying and kinda icky in the game. I just hate being forced to be a snake, even if it's just a game and they're just pixels- it's still icky. It's all so out of character it's almost unreal. This is how my MC finds herself in my headcanon. I had to send him back to Hope on the rooftop after Prom, after all that grafting, even though she was in love with him & he with her.
> 
> This is my first fic ever, if it sucks I apologize. I've never seen any version of the show, am not from the UK, just got sucked into this stupid, fun, maddening, addicting game and caught feels for some pixel boys. This is my MC's stream of consciousness. I'm not a writer.


End file.
